Time to Play and Overcome Your Fears

Wow we’re already halfway through Quarter 1 and it’s half term for many this week and next in the UK. Time to play! Even if you don’t have children, maybe it’s time to take a few days off too this week? Or book a holiday for later and go somewhere new to explore?

When we were children we were less afraid weren’t we?

If you grew up in the 60′s and 70′s we had far fewer rules. Quite ridiculous but we didn’t even wear seatbelts!

I remember climbing trees and riding my bike for miles, going out in the evenings with my younger brother, not coming home ’til it got dark.  Playing outside, fearless.

Sadly, fear is something we learn.  We are only born with two fears and that’s the fear of falling and loud noises. Surprisingly,  all other fears are learned.  I was quite shocked when I learned that fact.  But it’s a good fact.

It means, if we have learned to fear, we can un-learn our fears.  As well as helping people to get over the fear of ‘selling’, I have helped people to  their nerves and present with more confidence, get over the fear of flying so they can enjoy summer holidays again; an interior designer to get over her fear of dogs, so she can work in more houses. And I’ve had to deal with many fears myself including being able to present to more than 2 people!

When we do feel fear we are usually manifesting the fear in our minds.  Often by rapid negative self-talk.  Which leads to feeling unsure, not good enough, and then sometimes we experience physical reactions too like a rapid heartbeat, shaking and sweating. Not very helpful at all is it if you’re about to present?  But, we can change this.

Remember we feel our thinking.  So…

Change what you think and you can change how you feel.

Our brains don’t know the difference between a real or imagined experience.   Which can hinder us in many ways if we’re always thinking the worst, getting anxious or being harsh on ourselves.

Reframe! If our brains don’t know if it’s a real or imagined experience,  this can also be very helpful to us indeed.

For example, it means we can practise the art of presenting from our desks.  Of course we need good content but it’s usually thinking about presenting that puts most people off.

So, when you are running through your presentation from start to finish, imagine it all working out well. This will work wonders for your self-belief, confidence and your presentation.

Build your confidence by thinking it will work out, in your mind, see it all working out well.  Try it!  Take time to practise this.  Over and over again, so you’re building a new way of thinking instead and your fears will dissipate.

Today, I ask you, what would you do if you weren’t afraid ?    

If you were a child again, would you really have those fears anyway?  No, I thought not.   Re-frame.  Think it will work well.

Go out there with a child-like fascination of the world and see things for the first time again. In all its wonder.  Play.

Be without fear, well, only the two you were born with!

To your success and happiness,

Jo James xx

P.S. Power Hours for Students

I did a brilliant Power Hour last week with a student who was getting so stressed about her exams, so her Mum called me to help. I am happy to report her Mum messaged me and said ‘the work you did with my daughter was tremendous. It’s given her a different perspective and she’s enjoying herself and her subjects. Brilliant. You’re an absolute star‘.
Do get in touch if you or a friend has someone studying at home and getting too stressed with it all. I’m here to help.
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